It’s so HARD.

Hello Friends!

Lately, I have been feeling very unhealthy and I don’t want to feel that way anymore… In the past, I have tried at least 5 times to try to live a healthy, simple life, but all times went downhill.

I want to lose weight, I want to spend less time online, I want to eat healthy, I want to be happy.

BUT IT’S SO HARD.

The 5 times I’ve tried, a major part of each was staying off the internet. I deleted the social media apps on my phone, that failed as I reinstalled them. Another time was when I decided to deactivate most of my accounts, but that lead me to making new accounts and refollowing my friends (which annoyed them by the way), anyway those are a couple of my failed attempts at staying off the internet.

During those failed attempts, I also tried to eat healthy. Less greasy foods and more greens. As a kid, I’ve never liked vegetables, there are some that I do like. But the ones I definitely don’t like were the leafy ones, they felt weird in my mouth and tend to make me gag. Anyway I am still currently trying to eat healthy, I’ve been attempting not to eat at fast food joints, to try to have a better food schedule that won’t make me gain weight.

Now I am currently trying to spend less time inside and on the internet, I also want to focus more on working on my hobbies, such as photography, writing, adventuring, and more time outside whether I’m alone or with company.

If you’ve got any advice on how to achieve the things I want? Leave a comment!

Thank you.

XOXO – Michael.

 

 

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Coming Out

On February 17, 2016, I decided to come out to all my friends and family through Facebook.

 

“I AM GAY.

Many of my friends here in Canada know this already. I came out to myself 3 or 4 years ago. At first I forced myself and everyone around me to believe I was bisexual, because in my head, being bisexual meant less chance of me being bullied in school. Throughout the past 4 years, I’ve come to the realization that I have been lying to myself and to everyone I know. I’ve been forcing myself to have feelings that I really shouldn’t be having.

Some of you are going to react to this by saying that “You knew” or whatever, but no, you did not know. You didn’t know because I didn’t tell you. You were simply assuming from what you saw of my actions. And that is not right. You don’t get to assume I am something because of the colours that I wore or the toys that I played with or the people that I hung out with or anything else. If you are somehow hurt because I didn’t tell you before today, I apologize, but it’s my right to come out whenever I choose to.

As a kid, I’ve always liked guys, but living in a place where being gay was frowned upon, I had no choice but to keep it all to myself. Yeah, it may seem like I was too young to understand the things that were happening but I wasn’t. I knew, or at least had an idea. I played with dolls, had more female friends than male and I was very flamboyant. (Yes, these may seem very stereotypical, but that is not what is important.) I often got offended when my cousins or someone called me gay, because, I didn’t want to be gay. Like I said, being gay wasn’t very welcomed. I am proud to be Filipino, a culture filled with respect, loyalty and so much more. There are so many things to be proud about being Filipino.

When I came to Canada, I witnessed that people who were a part of the LGBT+ were treated better than they would be in the Philippines. As harsh as that may sound, it is the reality. Here, I met people not that much older than me, who were happy and comfortable about being themselves. Many of which are Filipino.

With that said, I felt more comfortable here. I had friends who supported me. And it made me feel happy. I came out to a couple of my best friends as gay. From then, I felt comfortable to say that I was gay on social media like Twitter or Instagram but not on Facebook. As I did this, I came out to more and more people. In a subtle way, I began to discover myself. It felt amazing. To be able to just be me. But I couldn’t on Facebook, because I haven’t come out to many of you, which was a struggle as I still wasn’t able to entirely be myself. Mind you that I am still same me, the only thing that may seem different to you is that I am into guys.

I have a feeling that someone will tell me that:
“This is just a phase” – no it’s not, this is how I feel and have felt for a long time.
“I’m too young to make this decision” – no I am not, yes I may lack knowledge in many areas because of my limited time on this earth, but I know I am gay. Along the way, I will learn more things.
Please, don’t bother talking to me if you are going to try to convince me to be someone I’m not.

I want all of your support, this is my sexuality, and I want my family and friends to be supportive of that. Your support means a lot to me.

If you don’t agree with my sexuality, then feel free to unfriend me. I’m sorry you feel that way but this is who I am. Don’t tell me how I should feel and I won’t tell you how you should feel. If you don’t agree with it but are willing to talk to me more and get some more insight that might change your mind and make you understand, feel free to message me. If you agree with my sexuality, thank you.

Either way, thank you for reading this and understanding that this is who I am.”